100 Books in 2012

First of all, it's good to be back. I took an inexcusably long break from writing, pretty much for the entire 3.5 years I was attending grad school. Here's the good news: I am now an Information Scientist (a.k.a. librarian), and over the last year I've been reading like a fiend. Nothing like reading 100 books in one year to get you re-inspired to start writing again. In fact, I was so proud of this personal accomplishment that I am dedicating my first blog post [of 2013] to the complete list.

Most people's responses when I bragged that I read 100 books this year were something along the lines of: "Yeah, but all you read are kid books." First of all, did YOU read that many books this year? Second of all, yeah 20 or so of the books listed are picture books, and most of the novels listed are categorically "YA (Young Adult)," but they're still books. And I learned just as much, if not more, from Mo Willem's Leonardo, The Terrible Monster than The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

So here they are, loosely in the order I read them. Some have reviews I copied and pasted from what I wrote on Goodreads. I am distinguishing picture books, audio books, and graphic novels with parenthetical statements for those who are interested in format. Books I'd highly recommend are preceded by 2 stars (**).

(NOTE: After closer examination, my tally was technically 99 and 1/3 books, as I still have yet to read the remaining 2/3 of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.)

**1) Wonder by R.J. Palacio
Took 2 days to read. Everyone, especially if you have any relation to education (teacher, administrator, student, parent, counselor, librarian, etc.), should read this. You'll fall in love with August and have an eye-opening look to how, not just classmates, but their parents (atrocious!), try to act like he's not good enough to be part of the school just because he has a facial deformity.

**2) Out of my Mind by Sharon Draper
I really liked this book. Definitely made me think a lot about how kids with disabilities are treated, especially in an "inclusion" school setting. I loved seeing the world from Melody's perspective. I can't think of an alternate ending, but I wish her class would have been chastised more for leaving her behind on the big day. 

3) The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
This book held my attention for about 100 pages around 400-500. Other than that, don't get the hype.

4) The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson
The sequel was better than the first, however the American version of the first movie ruined the entire mystery of the second book, so I predicted everything WAY sooner than I should have.

5) [1/3 of] The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson

**6) The Giver (re-read)
This book changed my life when I read it in 5th grade. I recently read it again as an adult, worried that I wouldn't feel the same attachment. It was still there. Fantastic, thought-provoking read. 

**7) The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

8) Divergent by Veronica Roth
I liked this and futuristic Chicago as the setting, but I wanted to like it more than I did. I'll definitely still read the rest of the trilogy. 

9) Feed by M.T. Anderson
I wanted to and expected to like this book more than I did. I liked the concept behind it, but I didn't find it a super compelling read. With that said, I think there are some extremely thought-provoking sentences, paragraphs and ideas throughout.
Also, I felt very connected to Violet's desire to meet at least someone (in this case a boyfriend, who she [sort of] finds in Titus) to know and understand her. I can identify and empathize with the pain of discovering someone has blatantly chosen not to read pages and pages of thoughts that one chooses to share. It made me think about all the times in college when I would send novella-length e-mails home to a group of people that I thought might care, trying to make connections. What if most of those just ended up in the virtual trashcan?
Throughout the book, I felt the same feeling I felt in the middle of watching Wall-E in a dark theater full of people staring at a giant screen... in a downspiral of depression.
It reminds me of a Wilco lyric: "...our stories fit into phones..."
Although I actively participate in all these social networking "feeds," I always feel somewhat guilty and am worried for the future of kids who only know of human interaction involving some form of a screen. It's scary.
And this was written almost a decade ago before every social networking site had what they now call "[news] feed." Crazy.
Maybe this deserves an extra star for making me think so much, despite not loving how it was written...

10) The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

11) The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly
I really liked the beginning and ending of this book but thought the middle was kind of slow. However, Calpurnia reminded me so much of myself as a little girl, that I'm leaning towards rating it higher than 3 stars. 

**12) The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
13) Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli
14) The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne

15) Holes by Louis Sachar
I didn't think I was going to like this as much as I did in the end. Mostly due to Sachar's mastery of eccentric characters, and I also think it poses a good first experience for kids who are just learning to "fill in the holes" in the more complicatedly interwoven stories they're reading. 

16) Middle School Is Worse Than Meatloaf: A Year Told Through Stuff by Jennifer L. Holm
I was expecting to like this more and wish it was more reader-interactive, but it served as a good example when talking to 8th graders about the journal-as-genre to show how a journal doesn't have to be just pages of written text. 

17) The Wright 3 by Blue Balliett
18) The Calder Game by Blue Balliett

**19) A Thousand Splendid Suns (audio) by Khaled Hosseini
Captivating story of interwoven lives in Afghanistan spanning several decades. My heart sped up as the story got closer and closer to 2001. Although this is a work of fiction, I liked feeling as though I was getting a better understanding of how senseless war is on the other side of the world. I listened to this as an audiobook on my commutes to/from work, and I often didn't want to get out of my car. 

20) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon

21) You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah! by Fiona Rosenbloom
I started off reading this on a Sunday morning and finished it two hours later. The language cracked me up and I found myself wishing I had written this book during my own bat-mitzvah season 16 years ago. The chapter titles alone made me giggle. There's not a whole lot to the story beyond a typical best-friend breakup over a boy, but it's a lighthearted easy read, and I really enjoyed the characters, the humor and the Jewish references. 

22) The Maze of Bones (The 39 Clues #1) by Rick Riordan
I was expecting to like this book and the concept of this series a lot more than I did, but it left me not really interested in reading beyond book 1. Also, the website is not easily-navigable and you can't participate unless you have the trading cards, which will rarely be included in the library's copies of the books.
Also, I think the fact that each book is written by a different author is kind of jarring and doesn't bode well for the consistency of Amy and Dan's adventures... especially with the number of characters involved.
Despite not being blown away by it, after I did a presentation about the series in my School Media Center class, lots of seasoned YA librarians said their students love the series, and that it's especially well-received by reluctant readers. Hence the 3 stars.

23) Breaking Stalin's Nose by Eugene Yelchin
A compelling, interesting and super fast read. I learned a good amount of Stalin's regime and the relentless fears of the Russian people by viewing the communist happenings through the eyes of young Sasha.
The illustrations help convey a time of fear and darkness as well.
Was surprised it ended where it did but ultimately thankful.

**24) Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick
I started reading this en route to MN not knowing that half the story takes place there. I also had no idea that the last page would reveal that the book is dedicated to Maurice Sendak, who just passed away yesterday. Librarians, sign language, the feeling of first discovering New York City and an unraveling story of self-discovery. Loved it. Possibly even more than The Invention of Hugo Cabret. 

**25) Lulu and the Brontosaurus by Judith Viorst
I picked this out based on the cover illustration, which I know you're not supposed to do, but it's worth mentioning because they carry on throughout the story.
Cute, easy read. Definite option for story hour- lots of potential for emotion and voices and Viorst provides 3 different endings, which could be fun to do with kids as well. 

**26) Lulu Walks the Dogs by Judith Viorst
Love Judith Viorst and loved Lulu and the Brontosaurus, so I was pretty excited to see there was a new Lulu book. And this one is about her being a dog walker. Everything about it made me smile :) 

27) I am a Pole (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
28) Rules (audio) by Cynthia Lord
29) The Pillars of the Earth (audio) by Ken Follett
 
**30) The Glass Castle (audio) by Jeannette Walls
This was my first audiobook experience, as I needed something to look forward to on my long commutes.
It's really hard to imagine that the story is real.
I loved it. 

31) Will Grayson Will Grayson (audio) by John Green and David Levithan
I liked this story, and I loved being familiar with the setting of Chicago, Evanston and even one of my favorite music venues: The Hideout!
I gave it an extra star because listening to it (aside from the grating repetitiveness of the narrators reading the screen names in internet chats one too many times) on Playaway during my commute as opposed to reading it, made it really come to life. I loved the voices the two narrators gave to the characters, especially Tiny Cooper's, and hearing the renditions of the songs in his musical made me laugh out loud in the car. 
The story has a lot of great messages and lessons about being a teenager (whether gay or straight), love, life and the true meaning of friendship: showing you care about and appreciate people. 
And get this--when the audio ended, I turned on the radio, and guess what was playing! TINY DANCER!
Burning Question: Did Lady Gaga write "Born This Way" for Tiny Cooper??

32) Tell No One (audio) by Harlan Coben

33) The Boss Baby (picture book) by Marla Frazee
Same illustrator as the Clementine series with really humorous illustrations. Recommended by Kathy, who said she likes to give it as a gift to new parents. 

34) The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
35) Blankets (graphic novel) by Craig Thompson
36) Queen of the World! (Babymouse, #1) (graphic novel) by Jennifer L. Holm
 
**37) The Fault in our Stars by John Green
Let's just say there are few books that have caused me to actually shed tears. As readers who get a glimpse into the love- and my oh my isn't it the love we all long for and deserve- between Hazel & Augustus and the importance each of us has to someone else in this crazy world.
Halfway through I was enjoying it but wasn't sure I was buying into all 5-star hype. By the end, though, I was filled with so many overwhelming feelings--not just sadness, but also heart-bursting love for the world and the people in it--it's hard not to praise the work fully.

38) Bruiser by Neal Shusterman
39) Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
**40) The Help by Kathryn Stockett (The movie is *terrible* and totally cheapens the book.)

41) Swallow Me Whole (graphic novel) by Nate Powell
I admit it--I chose this book solely based on its cover. However, I had a hard time following the story. I thought all the themes the description touched upon made it sound like something I'd enjoy, but I didn't follow what was happening at times. In addition, I didn't find any of the drawings nearly as captivating as the cover art (everything else is in black and white), and a lot of the text bubbles were hard to read... I'm sure this was on purpose, but it only left me kind of bored and frustrated. 

**42) Smile (graphic novel) by Raina Telgemeier
A great message for girls about inner beauty. Lots of laugh out loud moments that hearkened back to my love of the '90s (Bart Simpson shirts, The Little Mermaid, Teen Spirit deodorant). Also conjured up relatable memories of all my own teeth issues, most memorably when I had minor gum surgery and everyone addressed me as "chipmunk" in my freshman yearbook. 

43) American Born Chinese (graphic novel) by Gene Luen Yang
I was supposed to read this book for my YA Lit class last year, but CPL never got a copy for me in time. Definitely a quick and fun read. I really enjoyed the 3 interchanging story lines but when they finally become interwoven in an ah-ha moment near the end, it ends I abruptly and left me thinking, "wait- but then what?" 

44) Ghostopolis (graphic novel) by Doug TenNepal
45) Tommysaurus Rex (graphic novel) by Doug TenNepal
**46) My Monster Burrufu by Alberto Corral

**47) 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher
I was nervous to read this book. Two and a half years ago (although it seems like hardly any time has passed) I lost a close relative to suicide. I still don't understand the circumstances, and every time I think about him and the taboo subject, my stomach twists and I want to rewind time and recognize the signs. What could I have done to show I cared more? What could I have said to convince him otherwise (even though I didn't know that was ever remotely a possibility until it was too late)? It kills me, still, that I saw him 36 hours before it happened. I still haven't been able to write about it. All that's in my journal on a blank page is: "My mom called and in a panicked voice said, 'Are you sitting down?' All I could think was, 'Oh no. Her cancer came back.' But when I sat down on the closed toilet and hesitantly said, 'Yeah,' my heart racing and breaking, I was shocked when what she actually said was, 'J is dead...He killed himself.'"

I really enjoyed the format of the book and the double narrative. It evoked a lot of different feelings as I read it. Hannah's voice (at least how my brain made her sound) even pervaded my dreams last night. Every time I fell back to sleep, my dreams were narrated in her voice. Haunting.

I was going to rate this book 4 stars, but after reading the last two pages and reading the author interview about how this book has [positively] affected his teen reader audience, I'm knocking it up to a 5 out of 5 because that kind of power behind a piece of writing deserves the best praise.

I think this is an important book for teenagers to read. As the author, Jay Asher, says in an interview at the back of the book in reply to the question, "Were you ever worried that this book would be hard for people to get through because of the serious issues it deals with?"
"...Some people, primarily adults, would rather there be no books dealing with controversial subjects, even if those books help start a dialogue between teens and adults. Thankfully, I've heard from a lot of parents and teachers and librarians who are using this book for that very reason."

48) Stitches (graphic novel) by David Small
I liked this graphic novel and thought it was interesting that it's also labeled as a "memoir." I think the "where are they now?" type blurbs with accompanying photographs in the back of the book helped me appreciate the story even more because it helped the reader understand the context of the storyline that much more. 
 
**49) Rupunzel's Revenge (graphic novel) by Shannon and Nathan Hale

50) Meanwhile (graphic novel) by Jason Shiga
I didn't follow all 3,856 story possibilities, however I enjoyed following a few of Jimmy's adventures. Reminded me of the Choose Your Own Adventure book series I used to adore as a kid. Fun to see something like that in a visual, colorful map-type format!

51) Zebrafish (graphic novel) by Peter H. Reynolds

52) Auschwitz (graphic novel) by Pascal Croci
It's hard to say that you "liked" a book of this sort. Croci doesn't hold back with his often violent depictions/illustrations of the terror at Auschwitz. It's gut-twisting to look at, and I found myself, at times, only focusing on the text bubbles and only glossing over the illustrations. The interview at the end [with Croci], which includes excerpts of letters from survivors interviewed for the fictional depiction, was interesting and eye-opening. 

53) Green (picture book) by Laura Vaccaro Seeger
54) Zombies in the Library by Michael Dahl
 
**55) The Day-Glo Brothers: The True Story of Bob and Joe Switzer's Bright Ideas and Brand-New Colors by Chris Barton
Loved how the use of neon colors were used more and more throughout the book as the brothers got closer and closer to fully utilizing their discovery.
I liked the illustrations and the story (which is pretty interesting!) was laid out simply for young readers. Definitely a unique text for young readers looking for a non-fiction book to read. 
 
**56) Inside Out & Back Again by Tanhha Lai
I loved this book. Two of the reasons can be found in the author's note at the end. 1) "I extend this idea to all: How much do we know about those around us?" and 2) "I also hope after you finish this book that you sit close to someone you love and implore that person to tell and tell and tell their story."
This book is written in short, eye-opening poems and spans the year of 1975. The story is told from the perspective of Há, a Vietnamese girl who flees Vietnam with her family, near the end of the war, and ends up in Alabama. The fact that it's written in poetry works really well because a lot of the details are based off the authors own memories, so it flows really well in the way that short bursts of detailed memories often do. It's hard not to empathize with Há's desire to go back to war-torn Vietnam, when none of the kids are nice to her, their evangelical neighbors practically force them to get baptized, English is impossible to learn, and she has no idea whether or not her father is still alive.
Having just traveled to Vietnam this summer, I particularly felt a strong tie to this book because of how it felt to be an American there only 40 years later.
Highly recommended. For all ages really.

**57) Bridge to Terebithia (re-read) by Katherine Paterson
I haven't read this book since I was probably 11 years old, almost 20 years ago, but I remember the story made a great impact on me and how I've continually valued friendships over the years. Now that I'm working in a school library, grade 3-5, I decided I should re-read it as an adult, in addition to the fact that I forgot to adjust my Netflix queue and got the movie in the mail a week ago. I kept wishing I misremembered the tragedy that's weighed on my mind as the single memory from the book, but it still happened and my feelings didn't waver. The book subtly addresses religion and what happens (or doesn't) in the afterlife based on one's beliefs. Judging by the time of my life that I first read this, I understand now another one of the reasons why I felt so strongly about this story.

**58) Halloween (picture book) by Jerry Seinfeld
Got to play Seinfeld narrating his own book, while showing classes the illustrations in the book. It was hilarious. 

59) Hate That Cat by Sharon Creech
60) A Giraffe and a Half by Shel Silverstein

**61) Animal Heroes: True Rescue Stories by Sandra Markle
I read this book in preparation for this Thursday night's non-fiction book club at the school where I'm student teaching. I am a total sucker for animal stories, especially ones where they save people. There are 10 stories about pets saving their owners and wild animals saving people in their natural environments. The first story is about a guide dog who lead his blind owner out of the World Trade Center on 9/11. That alone hit close to home, so I was hooked and read the rest of the stories pretty quickly. There are text boxes with easy-to-read facts about natural disasters (e.g. hurricanes) and health issues (e.g. hypothermia) that add important information for kids to fully understand the extent to which the animals helped the humans.

**62) Wallace's Lists (picture book) by Barbara Bottner
Cute book about deviating from life's lists, something people even a lot older than Wallace could learn how to do.

**63) Leonardo, the Terrible Monster (picture book) by Mo Willems
Loved the visual design, both text and illustrations. Leonardo is adorable (although he'd probably hate, at least in the beginning), if I described him that way. Quick, simple read with a great message.

64) When Sophie Gets Angry -- Really, Really Angry (picture book) by Molly Bang
 
65) Teammates (picture book) by Tiki Barber and Robert Burleigh
This book didn't really grab my attention, but I also don't really care about football that much. I do think it's neat that the authors are real-life football stars and friends, which I didn't realize until I tried searching for this picture book on Goodreads. 

66) Strange and Wonderful Tale of Robert McDoodle: The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Dog (picture book) by Steven Baur
Cute concept.

67) Sally Jean, the Bicycle Queen (picture book) by Cari Best
This book was cute, but I didn't love it. I liked the ending. 

68) Oh yeah! (picture book) by Tom Birdseye
Two boys who "one-up" each other about how scared they're NOT going to get sleeping in a tent outside. Liked illustrations more than the book as a whole.

69) A Frog Thing (picture book) by Eric Drachman
Easy reader picture book with a positive message about being happy with who you are.

70) The Perfect Nest (picture book) by Catherine Friend
71) When Randolph Turned Rotten (picture book)by Charise Mericle Harper

72) The Incredible Book-Eating Boy (picture book) by Oliver Jeffers
I loved the collage-like illustrations in this book, as well as the storyline. The bite taken out of the back corner also gives it that extra humorous, visceral touch. Want to add this to my own growing personal library and check out the other books by Jeffers. 

73) Michael's Golden Rules by Deloris (picture book) and Roslyn Jordan
I didn't love this book, despite the intro being written by the great Michael Jordan. But, again, sports books really don't hold my attention, so it could be the perfect book for a young boy (or girl) struggling at Little League, etc. 

**74) Hippo-not-amus (picture book) by Tony and Jan Payne
Another great, humorous and colorful picture book about learning to love who you are, even if you have to try being other species to reach that level of appreciation. 

75) Pete's a Pizza (picture book) by William Steig
76) Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale (picture book) by Mo Willems

77) Knuffle Bunny Too: A Case of Mistaken Identity (picture book) by Mo Willems
I can relate to having a favorite stuffed animal and knowing when a similar one is not yours (or when your mom promises she won't was it but does anyway). I really liked the illustrations, set atop real black & white photographs. My one question, though, is that one of the photographs is of the real Arc'd'Triumph in Paris, but the story takes place in Brooklyn, so you'd think a picture of the arch, would be the one in Washington Square Park in Manhattan... details, details. 

**78) Library Lion (picture book) by Michelle Knudsen
Animals in the library? Yes, please! 

79) I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato (picture book) by Lauren Child
As someone who was quite the picky eater growing up, I loved reading this book about how Charlie gets his sister Lola to eat various foods she refuses to eat by giving them imaginative names and backstories (e.g. referring to tomatoes as MOONSQUIRTERS)! I also really liked the use of moving text and the cute illustrations. 

**80) Little Rabbit and the Meanest Mother on Earth (picture book) by Kate Klise
Now that I'm an adult, I want to give this book to my mom. 

**81) Ish by (picture book) by Peter H. Reynolds
**82) The Dot (picture book) by Peter H. Reynolds 

83) The Adventures of a Nose (picture book) by Viviane Schwartz
Loved the illustrations, showing that the nose subtly completes a face no matter where it goes. 

84) I Am Not Sleepy and I Will Not Go to Bed (picture book) by Lauren Child

85) Just a Dream (picture book) by Chris Van Allsburg
Scary that this was published in 1990. Like Wall-E, it makes me nervous that this is where our world is quickly headed if people don't start caring about the Earth and its resources. Good lessons with dreamy illustrations.

**86) Scaredy Squirrel (picture book) by Mélanie Watt
Like, Wallace's Lists, this book has another great lesson about breaking routine and exploring the unknown. 

**87) Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan
I loved that is based off the author's grandmother's own immigration story. The integration of Spanish is great. I actually wish there was more. I liked how the chapter titles are types of fruit (written in both languages) instead of numbers and how each fruit related to the story. Esperanza changes from her rich rancher mentality to a more humble and understanding person after experience life as a new U.S. immigrant.

88) The Story of Snow: The Science of Winter's Wonder by Mark Cassino and Jon Nelson
I thought this book was boring and the visuals too repetitive. 

89) GUYKU: A Year of Haiku for Boys by Bob Raczka

**90) Mirror Mirror: A Book of Reversible Verse by Marilyn Singer
This book totally tricked me! I knew the concept was poetry from "mirroring" perspectives, but I didn't catch on that the side-by-side poems were the exact same text reversed until a few pages in! When I finally caught on, I thought, "Wow! This sure shows how much punctuation can changed the meaning of a sentence!" Each page is a different fairy tale and the two poems are from 2 different character's perspectives. Interesting and clever concept with colorful, engaging illustrations. 

91) Baloney (Henry P.) (picture book) by Jon Scieszca

92) There's No Such Thing as a Chanukah Bush, Sandy Goldstein by Susan Sussman
"That afternoon we practiced Christmas carols. I just mouthed the words. I didn't know if Jews were supposed to sing the words "little Lord Jesus" and "'ron yon Virgin." I did sing "Jingle Bells" and "White Christmas." They seemed safe." I feel like Sussman translated my kid thoughts about celebrating Hanukkah when it seemed like all the focus was on Christmas into a children's book. Also, I love the title of this book. 

**93) Thoreau at Walden (graphic novel) by John Porcellino
I first learned about Henry David Thoreau and his beliefs in Gary Anderson's American Studies English class when I was a junior in high school. I immediately became obsessed with him and his ideologies. I just discovered this graphic novel version of some of his collected thoughts and spent the last 15 minutes reading it. I really enjoyed the introduction as a memory jog. I think the graphic novel portion does a good job of accomplishing the book's stated goal, which is to get the reader interested enough [meaning the books is fairly short and doesn't touch on ALL his thoughts, etc.] to seek out further information and writings by Thoreau. In the back of the book there are "panel discussions" which provide additional and interesting information anecdotes about some of the quotes included within the graphic novel.
 
**94) Love is the Higher Law by David Levithan 
It's hard to say whether I would have rated this book so highly had I not experienced 9/11 first-hand. But because I did and because I feel like Levithan had some kind of psychic ability to transcribe my inner-most thoughts regarding the range of feelings during that time (as well as passages that sounded they were ripped straight out of my 2001 journal), I had to give it a full 5 stars. I found myself wanting to underline practically every other paragraph, but it was a library book. I think I'm going to have to buy a copy now. I'm not sure if the everyday reader (meaning anyone not in NYC on that day) would feel as connected to the story, but I could be wrong, given that he does a fantastic job of describing what it felt like from 3 different points of view, of 3 teenagers whose paths cross because of the circumstances.

95) Ruth and the Green Book (picture book) by Calvin Alexander Ramsey
96) Redwoods (picture book) by Jason Chin
97) Houdini: The Handcuff King (graphic novel) by Jason Lutes
98) The Inside Outside Book of Libraries
 
**99) Never Fall Down by Patricia McCormick
I knew about a movie titled The Killing Fields for years, but never knew that the movie was about one of the world's worst genocidal atrocities. This past summer I spent some time in both Siem Reap and Phnom Penh, Cambodia during a month-long backpacking trip through Southeast Asia. We went to the Killing Fields at the Choeung Ek Genocidal Center, and I walked around in a stunned silence as I listened to the audioguide in my ear describe what I was looking at: The Killing Tree, where the Khmer Rouge slammed babies head-first against its trunk before throwing them in a ditch, enormous ditches that marked mass graves of almost 9,000 people at that one site, how bone fragments and shreds of cloth still surface after the rainy season and a Buddhist stupa (memorial) filled with human skulls, many of which have marks of being assaulted by an ax.
Never in my life have I felt like more of an ignorant American. How did I never learn about such recent history (1975-1979...people are just NOW being brought to trial for their involvement) in school?? The whole experience was so incomprehensible, this is actually my first attempt to put any of it into words.

So when I heard about this new YA novel, based on the true survival story of Arn Chorn-Pond, a few months after I got home, I couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy in hopes of better understanding what I saw and learned about at Choeung Ek.

It's hard not to give this book 5 stars, even though it was really hard to read. I wanted to cry or throw up after reading practically every page, and it's the first book I've read where I actually found myself questioning whether the material is "appropriate" for a young adult audience. Then I frequently reminded myself that this is, for the most part, Arn's story. This is what he really lived through in his attempt to survive the Khmer Rouge through his musical ingenious and pure luck. And everyone, young and old, should read his story so we can better understand what human beings are capable of, what they can survive and how we need to prevent history like this from ever repeating itself.

**100) It's A Book by Lane Smith
            Perfect.

Books I'm currently reading in 2013:
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins (finished)
Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer
Gossamer by Lois Lowry
The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky


What were your favorites of 2012?
And what are you excited to read in 2013?

Get Involved: 9/11 & Memory, a Collaborative Effort

As we approach the 10-year marker of September 11, 2001, I've been thinking a lot about that day.
And what I remember.
And what other people I've encountered remember.
And everything that's happened since then.
Ten years later, I still haven't fully comprehended or come to terms with it all.

I am interested in what YOU remember.
Where were you that morning? How did you hear the news? What was your reaction?
Consider these questions a prompt and answer them in a tangible manifestation.

Some Suggestions:
Write down what you remember (a word, a phrase, a detailed account of the day...)
Have someone interview you on camera
Interview someone else
Make a collage
Design a postcard
Write a poem
Photocopy a journal entry from that day

When you've completed your piece of the project, please mail it to me.
(E-mail me for my address: alyse.liebovich@gmail.com)
And, as an incentive, I will send a 5x7 photo, taken by yours truly, to everyone who participates.

Please feel free, in fact I encourage you, to pass this project prompt along to anyone you think might be interested. Re-post this post, forward my e-mail, Tweet about it, etc.

At this point I'm unsure of the final product, however I'd definitely be interested in finding a physical space to share the project and further the collaboration and dialogue.
For now, though, it'll be a collection of memories.
To prevent forgetting.

New Orleans, Five Years Post-Katrina

I moved to New York City two weeks before 9/11. I moved to Madrid two months before 3/11. I did not experience Hurricane Katrina first-hand, however I had been in New Orleans for the first time mere days before the city drowned, and had planned on moving down there two weeks after my visit, having no idea the destruction that was brewing in the Gulf. It was August, 2005 and I had just returned from a three-week cross-country roadtrip with my best friend, Shawna, after graduating from college in May. My dad offered to take me with him to New Orleans, since I still didn't have a job lined up and I jumped at the chance.
While my dad spent four days holed up in an air-conditioned basement of our hotel for work-related conferences, I spent my time getting acquainted with my surroundings, enjoying my solo exploration of a city I fell in love with instantly. A few activities involved hanging out with strangers. I went on a plantation tour and a swamp tour. The rest of the time I did a lot of wandering, listening and reflecting. I even found a photo studio that had a "Help Wanted" sign in the window. I took one of their business cards and silently vowed to myself that if I did not find a job within two weeks of returning to Chicago, I was going to pack my belongings and move down to N.O.L.A. to start a new life. Instead, I spent the next two weeks horrified by the media coverage of that same city drowning, my heart breaking once again for everyone in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Here are bullet notes, thoughts and even a few poems from the little blue notebook I carried with me everywhere I went for four years, as well as a handful of photos I took (although most of them are somewhere at my parents' house).

New Orleans
8.21.05

-lady @ shuttle desk said "You're such a pretty young lady."
Dad said, "She's my wife."
"Well she's still a pretty young lady."
"I'm his daughter," I said, more annoyed than I should have been.

-met Dad's work friends, Gary & Ernie

-Redfish for late dinner, local beer: Albita Red

-walked down Bourbon Street
--crazy even on a Sunday night
--"Huge Ass Beers To Go" sign
--old man stumbled over, said he was "alone too" & offered to buy me a HURRICANE


8.22.05

Right now I am sitting on the Canal Street ferry which goes from mainland New Orleans to Algiers, across the Mississippi River. It is only noon, which means I’ve only been walking around for two hours. But I am worn out. My mom wasn’t kidding when she said it was a “great city but too hot.” I’m glad I didn’t bother taking a shower this morning. This air-conditioned deck is a relief although I have yet to find any water. I walked down Bourbon Street—what a difference from last night—till I found St. Ann Street, which I then continued on to find the visitor’s center. I then sat in the park with a statue of Andrew Jackson on a horse, faced the cathedral and looked through all the maps and guides. The signs look like those on Spanish streets. I saw the famous Café Dumond across the street and walked through their outdoor seating area. Although the café au lait sounded really good, I knew it would just make me more dehydrated. And the donut things only came in threes. Instead, I strolled along the lazy Mississippi. A man, who appeared to have eyes in the back of his head pressed play on a tape player and slowly turned towards me and began playing along with his saxophone. Further along a man sat playing “Amazing Grace” on his harmonica. Watched a steamboat take off. Walked past the aquarium entrance. Eventually happened upon the ferry... Algiers was pretty empty. I really liked the neighborhood. A few seemingly abandoned houses I almost trespassed into. Maybe if my sister was here... Dad called while I was boarding the ferry to go back to the mainland. He made reservations for me to go on a 9-hour tour tomorrow of two plantations and the swamp. On the ferry a kid about ten years old was asking me about my camera. I called Abbi—she had just picked up her wedding dress. I desperately needed water. Instead, I got a 32 oz. lemon shake-up from a street cart. It was supposed to be $4. I paid with a 5 intending on leaving the extra dollar as a tip, but he never gave me change, so I just left. Finished it in less than two minutes. Stopped to see the fountain of Plaza España (also on the riverwalk I found a Holocaust memorial). It had plaques surrounding it with the names of all the Spanish cites. A bunch of funny southern ladies asked me to take their picture so I had them take one of me too. They were joking about posing with me since I was alone. I planned to take the streetcar uptown to the Garden District, but it turned out the stop was on St. Charles, right by the hotel (Intercontinental). So I took a break and had a po’ booy with 3 cheeses at the place right across the street—Serio’s. There, I met “Justcallme Skillet,” who has never traveled further than Pensacola, which he attributed to having 11 sisters and 3 brothers. I sprinkled hot sauce on the po’ boy, which was very tasty. Then I decided to stop back at our room to use the bathroom. Clearly my dad had been back because there was a lined up pile of papers on the edge of the bed—papers I had left in a disorganized pile in the middle of the bed that morning. I took about a 20 min. break in the quiet and cool of the room, laid on the bed reading about the different historic buildings in the Garden District. I had to motivate myself to continue my explorations because I felt so comfortable lying there. But I got up and went back into the sauna. There was a street car stop right across the street on the corner. $1.25 one way. I don’t think I’d ever been on one of those before. I liked it cause the windows were open and really, in the shade with the breeze, the temperature wasn’t bad. Plus, there was hardly anyone on it. It was nice to sit down. I accidentally got off a few stops past my intention, so I walked down to Washington Street, where I turned and walked a block to Cemetery 1. At first I dead-ended at a brick wall with a sign that said the cemetery closed at 2:30 p.m. daily. I immediately got really mad at myself, noting that had I not taken the break in the hotel room, I would have made it there in time to at least sneak in. It was just about 3. But I followed the wall around the corner and found the main entrance, which to my pleasant surprise was still open. There was a couple on their way out. Other than that I appeared to be the only one disobeying the posted times. I slowly maneuvered my way through the tombs, some times tripping over sticks, other times jumping at the slightest sound of rustling leaves. I read a few of the engravings as I passed, marveling at their antiquity, admiring the old-fashioned names. There was one tomb missing a door with a platform inside dividing the space in half horizontally as though someone had robbed two bodies from the same tomb.

(extra bullet note: intergraph happy hour, looking for typical Cajun fare, sales guy from dad’s Intergraph days took us out, sat at two tables, talked about his love of airplanes and how he grew up in a log cabin...)


[a self-portrait I took while waiting for my dad to go to dinner. later that night we went to a hookah bar to hear a Nina Simona tribute I had read about in the local news.]

Hookah Haiku
8.23.05

The fishtank's glowing
I wish I could swim like that
Drum beats the water

I want to smoke hoo-
kah with my dad but I think
He might be sleeping



8.24.05

This is the last picture I took. I was in the hotel lobby waiting to head to the airport and couldn't resist documenting this man having a staring contest with a larger-than-life fish.

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

I am watching a rerun of this morning’s Oprah episode. She broadcast live from the Houston Astrodome, where there are thousands of gulf coast evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. It’s taken me over a week to write about this national catastrophe. I am still in shock. I returned from New Orleans on August 24. Four days later the hurricane slammed into the gulf coast—worst hit: Biloxi, Mississippi and New Orleans, Louisiana. When I asked my dad if I could tag along on his business trip to New Orleans, it was sort of last minute and I just had always wanted to explore that city…for the history, for the music, for the environment…and I got to do just that. I took a self-guided walking tour of the historic French Quarter, I took a bus tour outside the city to see the Oak Alley and Evergreen plantations and then went on a swamp tour to see alligators, and even saw a Nina Simone tribute at a hookah bar. All of that is underwater now. Who knows what came of those people. What about Skillet, the charismatic man I met while having lunch at Serio’s across from the hotel? What about his 14 siblings? He said he had never been further than Pensacola. And what about the cat I came across in the cemetery? The only other living thing besides myself. And I can’t remember its name, only that it was female and started with an “M” and it matched the overall gray-ness of the tombs. For some reason this detail is bothering me.
One of Oprah’s correspondents was a surgeon and the footage he showed was so disturbing, I don’t know how anyone could watch that and not be upset. Not only upset, but embarrassed. How can our country have the audacity to continue sending our entire military overseas to fight in an unnecessary war when the worst disaster ever has hit our own land? The surgeon covered dead bodies—the first of a man who had been shot and left in the middle of the street, which he then surrounded by foldable chairs so that his body wouldn’t be run over. And the second of a woman who had died on the side of the interstate, using some white cloth.
Then there is the Louis Armstrong International Airport, that which I was just in mere days before this all happened. It’s morphed into an impromptu hospital, complete with tents and cots and even a morgue. Those who can’t be saved are put in the morgue so they can “die peacefully.”
And what about the animals? They showed people who had saved their pets on rescue boats but those same people weren’t allowed to bring those beloved animals on the buses. So they showed a bunch of abandoned dogs, then this man who claimed he was saved by the 24-year-old boy sitting next to him and his dog, which he’s had for 14 years, and the boy’s sitting there hysterical because he can’t take the dog with him. Nate, another one of Oprah’s correspondents (who survived the tsunami last year), embraced the boy and told him he was taking Rafiki (the dog) and two other dogs he’d met with him back to a private residence in Baton Rouge, and they would be reunited the following day.
The city is starting to drain, but the country holds its breath as the death toll is buried beneath the toxic remains. Many fear it will be in the 10,000 range. Unbelievable.
I can’t just sit here and watch this. All I want to do is go help people. I don’t know how to get down there, but I heard on the news tonight that Chicago has welcomed some people into our city from the south…I need to figure out where I can help around here before I am overcome with tears and guilt.

8.29.10, 5 years later

Last night I sat staring at Brian Williams on the T.V. He was recalling his experience covering the wreckage in New Orleans five years ago. I cried through the entire broadcast. I cried remembering how all I did was cry every time I turned on the T.V. five years ago. I cried at the images: both heroic and despicable. I cried for all the homeless dogs they showed paddling around in the flood waters looking for their owners. I cried for our ex-President's lack of help. "I was listening to the local radio in New Orleans. The president of the United States was visiting and he was on the ground and holding a press availability. And I remember the local radio anchor saying, 'We're not going to carry it because there is nothing he has to say that will help us,'" Williams recalled. I cried because our country has now spent TRILLIONS of dollars on a war overseas where people on all sides are being killed left and right, and here, in our own country, we couldn't put that money and relentless "effort" towards people in need. It's appallingly sad.

Renegade Craft Fair!

Those who know me know I've always strived to wear unique apparel. It's not that I necessarily want to stand out, it's more that I feel pride in saying, "Oh it belonged to my grandma/dad" or "I found it at a rummage sale" when asked where I got something I'm wearing. My mother, who is a big fan of department stores and has a license plate holder that says, "This car stops at Nordstroms," still does not understand this and scoffs in disgust whenever she sees the contents of my closet.

I just love all things old, used, with a story. Whether it's my dad's t-shirt from 1975, my Bubby's sunglasses or reviving the art of letter-writing, I'm all for it. Same goes for decorating my living space. I don't feel comfortable when rooms mirror catalogs. I want rooms to have character and look "lived in." So when I heard about the Renegade Craft Fair (coincidentally *right* where Lindsay and I just moved out of our good ol' apt. on Winchester & Division), I couldn't wait to explore all the handmade oddities.
Since last Wednesday night I've been totally out of commission, sicker than maybe I've ever been, possibly with the infamous H1N1 Virus (a.k.a. Swine Flu). Today is the first day I've woken up since first experiencing the symptoms that I felt like myself. I still have a bad cough and I was crazy dizzy from putting in my contacts (instead of wearing my glasses) for the first time in a week, but mentally, I was finally ready to brave the world again. Alongside my eye wear, I traded in the nightgown I've lived in for a sundress, showered, shaved my legs, and happily (& dizzily) stumbled out into this sunny September Sunday afternoon.
I met up with Shawna and we took advantage of the free photo booth, complete with fake mustaches.

I ended up participating in some major retail therapy...possibly as a remedy to selling my Regina Spektor ticket last night due to my sickness. The following is a visual documentation of my purchases.
A postcard I bought that I tend on mailing someone someday...when I grow a pair.
A postcard I bought for my friend Abbi. On the back I wrote: "In honor of all the people you've called a 'B'."
I actually did not buy this screenprint from Novem Studios (although I'm still considering it), but it's too awesome not to share. It immediately reminded me of my recent visit to NYC, where I stayed with my friend Zach and his 3 awesome roommates, one of which has a life-size plasticine zebra in the living room (which I rode during their housewarming party). Another thing I wish I bought, which is not featured on Owly Shadow Puppets Etsy site is a laser-cut heart-shaped valentine that said, "You had me at health insurance."
This is now hanging on my bedroom door. Two of my favorite people on one postcard: Obama&Dylan
I bought this really soft t-shirt from Megan Lee Designs with a nifty map sketch of the six-corner intersection that makes up the heart of Wicker Park, the neighborhood I've lived in for over three years.
I am a sucker for all things paper (if you haven't figured that out already)! Especially in the form of journals. So when I found old books turned into journals by a company called Overdue Industries, I fell in love. It was hard to pick which one I wanted, but I finally settled on "Tuning Up: The World Of Music" (first picture above) because I liked the cover design (imagine that: a library science student judging a book by its cover!) and the fact that some of the pages have evoke happy childhood memories with pages songs such as, "Yankee Doodle" amongst the blank journal pages. And, I loved their attention to detail and their mission to keep the old ways of the library, as in they have the outdated check-out card in the front of each journal, where each is stamped with the date of its creation and then again with the date of purchase (second picture above). Now I just need to start keeping a journal again instead of writing everything on one online venue or another...
Pictured above is an array of smaller artifacts obtained (for free) from various booths at the fair. Clockwise: Overdue Industries' business card, the paper bag my two yellow postcards came in, a pencil from 16Sparrows that says "Sarcasm Folded In Half," sunglasses from the Chicago Public Library, a ticket to enter the $100 Etsy raffle (I didn't know it had to be turned in by 4, and I missed by two minutes), a Letter Writers Alliance button from 16Sparrows, and a CPL button.

My most favorite discovery of the entire festival, though, had to be 16 Sparrows. As I've mentioned, I recently began my MLS degree through U of I's LEEP (online) program. A girl named Isabel, who I met at Boot Camp this summer (a 10-day on-campus session that kicked my ass), told me that if I went to the Renegade Fair I had to stop by 16 Sparrows' tent because it's co-run by another girl, Kathy, from our cohort. I poured over their website (the other half of brilliance is a girl named Donovan) before going and was immediately ob-sessed. First of all, their greeting cards are hilarious. What I found next blew.my.mind. A LETTER WRITERS ALLIANCE!!!! I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't get to the festival fast enough to search out their tent. Once I found it, I proceeded to screech about my love of letters and mailboxes and the post office and how I can't believe this existed and I didn't even know about it. I told them about the Letter Project I devised in college and they told me I should write about it on their blog, which is awesome and I plan on doing...and possibly reviving the project and doing a second round. I ended up joining the alliance (surprise) as member #601 and bought the LWA Gift Bag Tote Bag. And I'm all signed up to exchange addresses with pen pal strangers. How cool is that?!
Here's the stuff included in the gift bag, in addition to the actual bag:
I leave you (and the festival) with a picture of my dear friend Shawna (who lent me $20 when I found out the 16 Sparrows tent was cash-only), who has now adopted the nickname, Shawnimal:

in memory of the king of pop

Since I was about 12, I've been stopped on the street/been told by waitresses that I look like a variety of curly-haired celebrities. Most of this nonsense occurred during the Clinton era, when more people than I can recount, asked me if I was Chelsea Clinton. Then there was Darlene from "Roseanne," Carole King on the cover of the "Tapestry" album (which I also don't agree with but wish was true because I love that album), and the girl from "My Girl"(not even close).
But the most hilarious, most ridiculous comparison I ever heard was from my own Bubby, may she rest in peace. I walked home from a sleepover at my friend, Amanda's, house some morning during the summer of 1993. We probably stayed up late, we probably took personality quizzes in "Seventeen" Magazines, we probably sang along to Sheryl Crow's hit, "All I Wanna Do." We definitely practiced using a curling iron. I don't remember who curled the long piece of hair that hung in front of my face, myself or Amanda. But I will never forget my Bubby's, who was living with us at the time, response when she opened the front door after I rang the doorbell. Her cigarette-induced, distinctive voice traveled through the screen door.

"You look like Michael Jackson."

I couldn't find a picture from that age to illustrate this, but here is a picture from prom ('01), so you get the idea, more or less. That was not the first time the King of Pop made an impact on my life. When I was almost six, my parents took me and my three-year-old sister to Disney World in Orlando. Epcot Center blew my mind. Aside from the Norway ride, which I made my mom go on with me about twelve times in a row, "Captain EO," a sci-fi film starring Michael Jackson as the captain, enchanted me. The show was not only my first experience seeing MJ's dance moves but also my first experience with a 3D movie. All I remember is practically jumping out of my seat to try and catch the winged creature that I sincerely believed had flown off the screen right at me. Here's a picture of my sister in her Daisy Duck hat smiling beneath the 80s-rific movie poster. In, I want to say, third grade, around when "Heal the World" was released, our music teacher had us learn all the lyrics and we performed the song in an assembly for our parents while holding hands with other kids. I remember, even at that young an age, thinking, these are really important words we're singing. "Heal the world/make it a better place/for you and for me/and the entire human race..." Maybe it's what inspired me to volunteer my recess time to pick up trash in the field. Yeah, I was that girl.

In junior high, the movie "Now and Then" came out and my friends and I listened to the soundtrack on repeat. The Jackson 5 have two songs on there: "I'll Be There" and "I Want You Back." Abbi, Stephanie and I made up an interpretative dance to the latter in Stephanie's basement, taking turns being Michael. (This song makes a comeback during my the college years. Stay tuned.)
Whenever I hear the intro to "Black & White" I laugh because I picture myself in all my pre-teenaged-angsty glory...yelling at my parents about turning down my music..."No! No! It's the best part!"..."Too Late? Sure...Eat.This."

Around this same time, my sister and a group of her friends performed a dance to "Remember The Time" in the TJ Talent Show. They diligently practiced on our front lawn, despite the fact that the routine pretty much only consisted of them doing the running man over and over and over.

A month after I graduated high school, I performed in my last dance recitals, something I had been doing annually since I was three years old. My dance studio had themes attached to different sections of the show, one of them usually revolving around the latest Disney film. The older dancers got to wear the "big costumes" and dress up as the characters. I don't remember if the theme was "Wizard of Oz," but one of the songs in that recital was "Ease On Down The Road" from "The Wiz." I thought, okay, maybe I'll get to be Dorothy. I pulled it off rather wonderfully when I dressed as her for Halloween...in '86. But, no. As was proven many a times, I was not cut out to dance the part of the pretty princess. Instead, I was assigned the Scarecrow. While the little kids backstage fawned over Dorothy, I scared the crap out of them as soon as they took one look at my freakish mask and baggy clothes. But I danced my heart out because I loved the stage and I loved that no one knew it was me under the mask. I've never actually seen "The Wiz," but I am happy knowing that I shared that part with the one and only Michael Jackson.
Check out our comparison:


The finale to this same and final recital was to "Shake Your Body Down," a hit by The Jacksons, who had dropped the "5." It was one of the only dances I ever got to be in the front row and, lucky for me, there was a high kick involved (something not everyone could do). My buddy, Michael Novak (who has gone on to become an amazing professional dancer in NYC), and I would dance around to the song just past the wings on stage left in between our actual stage time. My mom has video footage of this, but because it's on an 8mm tape, I unfortunately can't share the love. Also included in the footage is that I am happy and bouncy, until I take one step past the curtain onto the stage, and totally lose all emotional control. I didn't know I cared that much that it was my last dance recital, until I came out to do the last performance of that dance and I was so overcome with sadness that I literally just stood there and cried and pretty much didn't do the dance.
Here is a picture of me and Ashley in the costume.
Onto the college years...
When I got home from work on Tuesday (7/7), I had a gchat message waiting for me, in response to a message I'd posted about a Michael Jackson tribute party that night, from my freshman year roommate, Brianna.

Brianna: will you be in your underwear? cause that's the only way i'd consider going

Seems I had conveniently forgotten about that day. That day that Brianna came home from class and found me dancing, donning only my bra and underwear, around our tiny room to the Jackson 5. I must have had my boombox turned up and didn't hear her come in. She just stood there, laughing, while I continued to shake my body down to the ground and pretend like I could hit MJ's high notes. That was 8 years ago. Clearly I made quite an impression on her.
Second semester of my junior year I studied abroad in Madrid. I barely ever went out with people in my program, for various reasons, but mostly because I wanted to use my money to travel around Europe, not drink and snort my time away in overpriced Spanish bars. One of the last nights living there, though, I did go out. I had finally started to warm up to a small group of friends and they convinced me to suck it up and head to an Irish (a.k.a. Engish-speaking, a.k.a. full of dumb Americans) pub. Almost our entire program ended up being there. For most people, "I was so drunk, I..." stories abound. For me, I only have about 3 or 4 notable ones. Two of them involve Long Island iced teas. One of them involve the aforementioned evening. I had never had an L.I. and my friend, Kristal, said I had to try it. "You can't even taste the alcohol," she persuaded, and conveniently failed to mention, "...even though it's 4+ different liquors mixed." I sucked three down in an alarmingly short amount of time and to Kristal's astonishment, said, "I don't even feel it." A short while later, about a quarter way through my fourth, I suddenly felt like someone had spun me around a hundred times and thought it was absolutely necessary to grab the mic as soon as the band playing took a break, and sing along to "Mr. Jones" at the top of my lungs. Immediately following, "I Want You Back" came on and I overly-excitedly called everyone over to form a circle around me, wherein I performed the entire interpretative routine from almost a decade prior. The next morning, I felt like I was in a movie when I walked into the computer lab and wanted to crawl under a table when almost every person pointed and laughed and had something oh-so-witty to say about "You last night."

My senior year at NYU I interned at Saturday Night Live in their photo department. Part of my job entailed being a celebrity stand-in for lighting purposes. I made it my mission that by the end of my time there, I would learn how to moonwalk in between shots. I'm still not sure I can do it, but I'd still love to perfect the move some day.

Also senior year, I was walking in the village one day, and although it was slightly sunny, it was snowing. I was listening to my fourth-generation ipod, which only had a few songs on it because my computer was a piece of crap by the end of college and didn't support itunes. "Will You Be There?" by Mr. Jackson came on and I literally started skipping and twirling down the street. And yes, I was by myself. I don't know if I love that song because it was in a crucial part of "Free Willy" or what, but I was all smiles in my private unburstable snow bubble. I ended up running into my roommate, who said she had seen me skipping. Awesome.

This brings us to just over four years later, July 7, 2009. At Michael Jackson's memorial show, Jennifer Hudson took the stage and belted that song. When I realized the people behind her were not dancing, but signing, I lost it. That song, her voice, MJ's death, and my love of ASL was too much to control the tears. Instead of all smiles, I was a blubbering mess.
She was then followed by Reverend Al Sharpton, who blew me away with his words and his poignant delivery. Especially when he looked at Michael's three kids and said, "Was nothin' strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with." And little Paris stood and clapped in gratitude. In an interview, Sharpton said, "No controversy will erase the historic impact. He learned how to create even beyond his own shortcomings. Michael Jackson made culture accept a person of color way before Tiger Woods, way before Oprah Winfrey, way before Barack Obama." Here is the video of his speech in its entirety.


The day after Michael died, everyone on the road seemed to be blasting some pop homage to him out their rolled down car windows. It was like a Chicago-wide Jackson musical! And the day after that I went to a sleazy Vanilla Ice concert in a Wicker Park alley as part of a bachelorette party. As we waited for V.Ice to take the stage, the speakers blasted MJ's greatest hits. I love dancing. This is widespread knowledge that grew in numbers when I started dancing to "Billy Jean" amidst a crowd in the rain. I did a turn around myself and some sort of leg swivel, which prompted a man to say, "You did it!"
I don't even know what I did, but I felt proud and like I understood what Michael meant when he said, "Dancing is about interpretation." Sometimes I feel like I should claim music as my religion. I feel about music how some people feel about a god. Think about how much debate there is surrounding actual religions, then look and see how many people around the world joined hands, flicked on lighters and came together as one to honor the Kind of Pop.
Music makes me feel complete. An extension of this is through dance as an expressive means. I grew up as a pretty shy person, but throw on some music and strap on some dancing shoes, and I've always become a whole new person. In these moments, I sincerely couldn't care less what anyone around me thinks. I feel the music and I want each beat to be recognized. I don't think, I just do.
[Maggie snapped a photo at the V.Ice dance party]

Michael, I look forward to continuing blasting your tunes whenever possible, and I hope now you are at rest and at peace, where people can bother you no more. And, if there is a heaven, I hope you're teaching my grandparents how to moonwalk. Love, a fan (one of your millions)